Tabula Rasa
by WriteNThink89
Summary: An assassin is always an assassin. When Tanya and Xenef try to retire at the same time, someone takes issue and nearly kills them both using an assassin of their own. As they use their combined experience to track down the person who wants them dead, they learn of a dangerous organization called Cerberus. What they learn about each other might be more lethal than any bullet.


**Thank you, Laufeyson's Wife, for beta-reading this! Didn't know I had so many spelling errors. :)**

**Anyway, I guess I got to say that BioWare owns everything but my storyline and my characters!**

**Please read and review! I love reading any kind of critique, so don't be shy! Hopefully chapter 1 will be coming up within the week! **

**~WriteNThink89~**

PROLOGUE:

PRESIDIUM APARTMENTS

"Xenef?" Tanya poked her head out of the shower, pulling her tank top over her shoulders. Water still dribbled from the ends of her curls, soaking the fabric in random spots and creating a trail on the smooth surface of the floor. She wriggled into her sweatpants before opening the door all the way.

The sunset nearly blinded her after the dimness of the bathroom. A wall of orange and red and pinks and purples shone through the floor-to-ceiling window. That was the only light in the bedroom, the interior lights were still off. Out of habit, she checked each dark corner before stepping onto the marble floor. There were no enemies waiting to strike, not this far into the wealthier district. The lights were just never turned on.

Her eyes strayed to the hunched over figure on the other side of the room. The sunset turned his forest green head to a shade almost black. He sat at the edge of the bed facing the window. With his hearing, Xenef would've heard her question, but he didn't respond. Didn't even lift his head. As she watched, a visible shudder passed over him and his head sank even lower.

"Oh, Xenef."

Pity and concern carried her across the room. Tanya paused when she rounded the foot of the bed, attempting to asses how serious his lapse into solipsism was. Large eyes that could see into her soul were clenched shut, hands curled into fists that were pressed against his forehead. The memory was bad enough that he shook constantly. His mind was so trapped by it he didn't react when Tanya sat next to him.

Biting her lip, Tanya wavered between waking him or leaving him be. In the past, she'd startled him so much he'd thrown her across the room with a flare of biotics. If she left him, he would ease out of solipsism on his own. Maybe. She sighed, bringing up a barrier that covered her from head to toe in a blue shimmer. If he wanted to return to the memory, he could. Right now, she could sense in the deepest part of her that he needed her. More perhaps than he was willing to admit. With the lightest of motions, she rested a hand on his shoulder.

Xenef jumped beneath her hand, head shooting upright, outer and inner eyelids blinking rapidly. For a good while he fought to control his breathing, not reacting to her presence or the brightness of the sunset. Tanya waited, saying nothing but lowering her barriers. If he was going to react strongly to her interference, he would've done so.

One minute. Two. Finally the drell's hands unclenched, one reaching up to cover Tanya's. "_Siha_, I..." Xenef's soft voice trailed off. Very slowly he took a deep breath. He let it out in a rush even though he still trembled. Though it was less obvious than with human's eyes, his gaze traveled from the window to the floor and back again. Never at her. "Forgive me, that was... it was a momentary... forgive me."

Tanya squeezed his hand. "Hush. Don't apologize for something you can't control. It isn't healthy." She didn't ask what he'd been reliving. It was all she could think about, too. Once again, she was grateful she didn't have a perfect memory. She would go mad in an hour.

A smile tugged at his lips, but failed to produce a true one. He sought her other hand and brought them together in his lap. Silence fell between them for a few minutes more, running his thumb across her skin. There was a thought to his expression. A longing to say something that he didn't have the right words for.

Though she wanted desperately to know what was troubling him, Tanya kept silent and let him think. It was his way. Rushing would cause him to change his words. The intense feelings he needed to express becoming locked in a cage deep inside him to fester unresolved. Her heart ached to see him so troubled. Most things in life didn't faze his positive demeanor. Not even when the doctors thought he'd contracted Kepral's Syndrome. He always looked at life in a good light, hardly ever letting himself give up or view things unfavorably. When he was serious, however, Tanya had learned that he needed to be heard, no matter how long it took for him to say it.

"I shouldn't have let you come with me today." Xenef's words were heavy. They fell from his lips like weighted stones. "There was always a chance that the contract would result in a riot. Lots of bystanders, potential witnesses. A kiling in broad daylight frightens people beyond reason. I should have remembered this. Had you remained here..."

"The other sniper would have either killed you or put you in the hospital." Tanya kept her tone soft but matter of fact.

"Perhaps." he murmered. Then he turned, snaring Tanya's gaze with his obsidian eyes. He brought her hands to his chest. There was a fierceness to his face that she'd never seen before. "_Siha_, if that bullet hadn't been blown off course by that passing aircar, you would be dead. How could you be so reckless with your life? A step to either side and it would have..." The growl within his voice stumbled and his rant, for all intents and purposes, tripped over itself into silence. The grip of his hands was almost painful.

Fighting back tears brought on by the pain and confusion in his voice, Tanya lowered her eyes, unable to look at him. "I know. Believe me, I know." She shuddered, seeing the glare of the bullet flash in her mind's eye. Goddess knew she should have died. A segment of her hair fell over her face. "But that won't stop me from helping you again." It took more effort than she was willing to admit to herself to lift her head again. "We're safer as a team, you said so yourself."

"That was before you were almost killed."

"And if it had been you the sniper was aiming at? Don't you think I'd be telling you the same thing right now? Berate me all you want, it's no worse than I'm doing to myself. Nothing you say is going to make me change my mind about staying with you." A tear fell from her eyes.

Xenef's inner eyelids blinked rapidly several times, but even then they couldn't hide a faint stream of tears that wove its way down his face. One hand released hers, caressing the side of her face. "Tanya, your're the first person I have truly cared for since Kamirin was given to the deep. I can't loose you as I lost her. Should anything happen to you, I... I would not be able to live with myself. Can you understand that?" He was pleading with her to understand. Something he never did.

"Of course, I do. More than you think." Tanya couldn't hide the tremor in he voice. "But after Illium... I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I love you, Xenef." In a bold move quite unlike her, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close.

Unlike his previous attempts at chivalry, Xenef clutched her to him. Like he was afraid to let her go. A few tears fell onto Tanya's neck as he pressed his face against her skin. It lasted only a few seconds. He pulled back a small bit, his face mere inches from her own. A thumb ran across her lips, gentle and satiny. Warm breath bathed her face in short bursts. "And I love you, _Siha_." His lips captured hers in an intense caress.

Tanya hesitated then let herself become lost to her husband's touch.


End file.
